tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53446799042894315812024-03-12T18:03:17.573-05:00Jen to LoseJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-53179820905286674402011-07-04T22:00:00.001-05:002011-07-04T22:00:00.902-05:00Water is My Motivater!I have actually been tracking my eating and getting regular activity in--a huge accomplishment for me. Another thing that I'm doing differently, that I haven't done over the last nine months is--I've been drinking TONS of water! And I'm loving it!<br />
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Every time I take a drink, I think, "Yep, I'm in this." Every 10 minutes when I'm in the bathroom, I think, "yep, still going." When I'm doing laundry, its, fold a basket, take a huge drink. Go put some clothes away, maybe go to the bathroom, come back, take a huge drink.<br />
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<b>So why is drinking water working for me?</b><br />
--Focusing on drinking the water is a constant reminder for me that I am on my game. I'm working towards my goals. I'm living deliberately.<br />
--It's a distraction from eating other stuff--the stuff I crave.<br />
--It fills me up!<br />
--And I think my body is feeling better because I'm so hydrated. <br />
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<b>A Few Water Things that Work for Me</b><br />
I know some people hate water, and I'm so glad I'm not one of them. But sometimes I find it harder than others to get the water in. It's summer now, so the warm weather helps. But during the cold, long MN winter, it's not as easy for me. Here are a few things I try to do to keep in the water game: <br />
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--Drink out of a bottle that I LOVE! I have two "special" water bottles that I really like (it's worth the investment), and I use them both. I LOVE shopping for water bottles. My kids, of course, think that the water in Mom's bottles tastes better than theirs, so I sometimes share. But I try to keep my water bottles just for me! Buying a new water bottle would be a great reward for a scale or NSV.<br />
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--Work Out! I always want to drink TONS of water after I've built up a sweat--especially if I push myself hard. Now I'm not a die hard "worker outer" but I'm trying to be consistent. Pushing myself involves doing some jogging and walking faster than I want to.<br />
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--Plan your outdoor workouts around the port-a-potties. Nothing ruins a workout more than having that "I have to go" feeling through your entire workout. We have lots of parks in our general neighborhood, so I know if I can just make it to the park, I will be OK. And then I can keep on going! <br />
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--Drink it in the morning. Sometimes just starting my day with the water helps me focus on what I really want--and staying on track. It also helps me get the bathroom runs out of the way earlier in the day.<br />
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--Limit coffee. During the cold months, I love to drink WAY too much coffee, but if I can limit myself to one big cup, I can hit the water right away and get on with it! Works for me.<br />
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--Drink some milk! Funny to say that here, but I think it's a good thing. I'm am NOT a milk lover, but I think it's good for my body--so I also need some incentive to get the milk in. And it's good for my kids to see me drinking milk. So I try to drink a glass of milk with either lunch or dinner or both, or I try to make a smoothie with milk. And since I need a little incentive for drinking milk, I count it toward my water consumption. Works for me.<br />
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--Add citrus. To freshen up my water, I love to squeeze in a little lemon or lime. Sometimes a little change is enough to perk up my taste buds and help me drink and drink--delish!<br />
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So that's what I got. And I know I'm going to have to come back and read this some time when the motivation is on the down side.<br />
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But for now, I'm going strong, I'm getting the water in, and I'm heading to the bathroom. . .<br />
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Do you have any tips for getting the water in and loving it?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-80356942185151827242011-06-29T22:35:00.001-05:002011-06-29T22:35:00.336-05:00Challenge of Changing Food Habits If you have ever been like me and have used food for entertainment, for relaxation, or for reward, changing those eating habits can be a major challenge. I am finding that running errands and regular daily activities can be major triggers for me. Just going about my daily life, I am faced with decision after decision. Just a few examples. . . and at the end, what I learned from writing these down:<br />
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<b>--I'm grocery shopping.</b> Should I buy that big chocolate bar (that's only around $1)? You know, the one you usually buy as a little, on the side, treat. The one that you can eat as you drive home. The one that has almonds in for a little crunch. I often go to more that one grocery store in a week, so, again, I'm faced with a challenge--with the decision. Should I buy that chocolate bar, you know the one. . . .<br />
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<b>--Running Errands by Myself.</b> Should I just stop at Caribou and buy a medium Mocha (regular, milk chocolate). I'll just get it this last time, and tomorrow, I will be eating better. You could really use a little treat. And don't you deserve it. You finally have a kid-free moment--take a break. It's just a little something. Tomorrow, I will make better decisions.<br />
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<b>--Running Errands. </b> It's almost lunch time and I didn't have that morning snack. Maybe I should just stop for fast food (you know which one--the worst food ever--cheaply made and tastes cheap, but for some sick reason, I'm drawn to it). If I get the fast food, I won't have to make a big mess in my kitchen. But at the same time, I don't want to feed my kids garbage. Maybe I'll just get it for me and make my kids regular lunch. I'm not really on plan, so I might as well. . .<br />
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<b>--Weight Watcher Meetings.</b> Even my WW leave me with a decision to make, since I've developed a bad habit. Had a great meeting--I'm challenged to give this a go, but perhaps I should start a little later. I hear that fast food calling my name (that same one). What should I do? That fast food would sure taste good. I don't really need to start right this instance, do I? Do I want to get to work, or do I want to make it happen later. I have my little guy with me, so it's kind of hard to focus. Might as well get something to eat. . . .<br />
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As I read this, I realize that I am going to face these kinds of decisions every day, every hour, and with the regular activities of my life. Graduation parties, family potlucks, barbecues with friends, holidays. Going shopping, going on vacation. . . . the list of events that triggers me to eat for the wrong reason is unending. The list is the events of my life! <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HOWEVER, if I can make the ONE decision, the ONE decision, to treat my body with the respect and care and love it deserves, perhaps dealing with the daily, hourly, smaller decisions will be more manageable. </b></span>Perhaps recognizing that the chocolate bar, and the coffee drink, and the fast food are NOT really treats, are NOT really rewards. They are part of a self destructive behavior--a self destruction pattern--and they are not giving anything good to my body or my mind!<br />
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Life is about decisions. Changing old habits and patterns is about decisions. Losing weight is about deciding. Living a healthy and full life is about deciding.<br />
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Next I want to talk about strategies to help with the daily decisions that can trigger poor food decisions. I have a few I want to point out to myself soon. Do you have any suggestions?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-59505081489623691062011-06-26T23:38:00.000-05:002011-06-26T23:38:00.156-05:00Talk Is CheapI like to talk a lot. I like to think a lot. About what I could and should do to lose a little weight. Or a lot of weight. I stay in this thinking state far too long. Too often. It becomes a holding pattern. A state of procrastination. Thinking. Which is really talking to myself. And talk is cheap. Talk is not action!<br />
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Lately, I find myself getting mad at my husband lately--at least mad at him in my mind. I haven't talked to him about this--yet. I might need to or I might not. (Remember, talk is cheap). This past winter, my husband decided to take more control over his health. We decided to get the gym membership, and he started to use it on a regular basis. He still uses it on a regular basis. He makes it a priority in his life. He makes the choice to go--and he does it more often than not! He is putting himself first. He is acting on his cheap talk, and actually he doesn't talk a lot.<br />
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Why can't I do that too! And in a way, I have started to resent him for it, or at least be a little mad at him in my mind. Why is he taking all of this time for himself? Here I am stuck with the weight of everything in our family. I'm stuck with three kids needing me constantly. I have to do everything--take care of the kids, the house, the food, the organization, the financial budgeting, the calendar. Why can't I take that time for myself too? Why can't I make the choice--why can't I choose me and stick to it?? Why can't I do what he is doing?<br />
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And the real--TRUE--answer is that I can! My husband is not the one stopping me from making a choice and acting on it. In reality, he would and could easily support me! In reality, he would help me make this happen. But first, I have to make the choice and act on it! I have to choose me! I have to stop living in this state of deciding. I have to make myself and my health and my weight loss goals a priority. I have to start living my cheap talk. Better yet, I need to stop talking!<br />
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For some reason at this stage in my game, choosing me has been a hard thing to do. I choose my children. I choose my family. I choose the "mom" role of who I am instead of the "me" that I am. I know that this kind of talk is somewhat cliche in the "mom" world--"you have to take care of yourself. you have to put yourself first and it will make you a better mom, blah, blah, blah."<br />
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For some reason, I'm afraid to choose me. I don't even know who I am any more, and saying that is so cliche, it kind of makes me sick. But this is my blog, and my cheap talk, so I'm going to say it.<br />
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At the same time, I feel like--if I could just start acting on my cheap talk--I might just find that answer!<br />
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I have recently been enjoying the writings and musings of <a href="http://rachelheldevans.com/">Rachel Held Evans</a>, and in<a href="http://rachelheldevans.com/works-based-salvation#disqus_thread"> the comments</a> of one of her posts, someone mentioned this saying from Alcoholics Anonymous: <b>"I can't think myself into acting right, but I can act myself into thinking right." </b> This little saying gives me some hope, and seems to apply to my struggles.<br />
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All of this thinking and cheap talk isn't going to get me to do the work. But if I start doing the work. And if I keep trying to do the work, and do the work, and do the work, maybe, just maybe, my little old life will start making some sense. And the questions I hold about it all will start to make sense. I'm going to try to hold on to this saying and move forward.<br />
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Talk is cheap. Don't I know it!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-1883235476968220962011-06-22T22:00:00.000-05:002011-06-22T22:00:03.261-05:00Why a Weight Loss BlogI've thought about blogging a lot--that is if I should do it or not. I was first introduced to blogging a few years ago when I became very interested in serious coupon use to save $$$ at the grocery store. (Man, you really can save lots of money, and the resources that are out there are awesome--but for this sorry momma--it takes tons of time--something I don't have a lot of!)<br />
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When I was pregnant with my third babe, I decided to start a blog dedicated to matching coupons to the sales flyers at my local grocery stores. But I quickly found out that this was waaaaaay too much work for me and my verbose writing style (and there were other people out there doing a much better job at this than I ever could). I wasn't interested in teaching people or making blogging my life. I just wanted to share my story. <br />
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So I decided to change focus and write more of a frugal living blog--one where I could talk about living a simple yet full life--one that keeps my spending in check. (If you are really interested in my <a href="http://centsinthecities.blogspot.com/">bloggy past</a>, you can check it out--sorry lots of dead links since I abandoned the original web address).<br />
But I quickly found that I couldn't maintain the blog and my sanity and keep my bathrooms clean all at the same time (well my bathrooms still are not clean, but that's not really the point), so I threw in the towel.<br />
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By this point, I became really interested in reading weight loss blogs, and decided that I too could use blogging as a tool to lose weight. I thought it would be a great way to track my progress, communicate with others like me, and to find motivation. I totally, totally think blogging can be all of those things for me. I just underestimated how my life would change with a new babe (now almost two years old)--and I underestimated how little focused computer time I would be able to find in my life. So for the first 18 months of my little guys life, I tried to write here, I tried to figure out what I was really doing with my "mom" life and with MY life and what I really wanted. But I fizzled out. . . time and time again.<br />
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But life goes on and I am still here dealing with my lil old life and challenges. Since the last time I blogged, I have made a few changes. I have decided to re-join Weight Watchers, which I'm sure I'll blog tons more about in the future. In any case, I decided I would work their program, use all of their tools, and focus all of my weight loss energy on what they have to offer. I was excited to find out that they actually have a blogging tool available through their e-tools. I tried to use it, but have found ONE MAJOR FLAW for me and the way I work: you can't save drafts!!! You have to write and publish all at the same time. Or I could have tried to first write in Word and then copy over to the blog, but this seemed way too tedious to me, so I let the WW blogging go as well.<br />
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So I am now back to Blogger and my little old weight loss blog--and I'm going to give the writing a shot. I'm still contemplating how to use this best--like should I use it as a journal and ramble on and on. How personal should I get? Do I really want to post all of my dirty details here? Are you really going to bear your soul Jen?<br />
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And I've contemplated if I should stick with Blogger? Shouldn't I try Wordpress where I can get more serious about blogging? And shouldn't I buy my own domain name? And shouldn't I make my blog prettier and more professional and . . . ? And shouldn't I change the name of my blog and find that perfect name? Seriously, these are the silly thoughts that infect my mind and keep my from doing the <i><b>real work</b></i>, keep me in the little limbo state that has been my life up to this point. You know what that real work is don't you? You know. . . actually WRITING on this blog thing . . and moving your body. . . and going to the gym. . . and walking. . . . and eating some fruit and veggies now and then. . . . and getting some sleep. . . . and doing it over and over and over again. That's the real work, you know! That's the real meat of it. Write, Act, live!<br />
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So I'm a-writing --right here for a while. I'm excited to see where this takes me. I'm encouraged. I'm glad I'm here. So if you are a-reading, feel free to say "hey" and leave a comment. We've got to keep trying right? I know I do.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-85325419031098713212011-06-19T22:00:00.001-05:002011-06-19T22:00:03.194-05:00Hunting for a New PatternI know that -- for me -- long term weight loss success and sustainability needs to involved shedding the bad habits and creating new patterns in my life to follow. Patterns that involve healthy eating. Patterns that involve moving my body. Patterns that involve grocery planning and meal planning and getting enough sleep and using moderation. Patterns that involve managing stress with something other than overeating.<br />
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Another major part of this weight loss journey is figuring out what the patterns are that I really need in my life. And making the pattern a pattern -- by repeating it over and over and over. <br />
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Lately, I feel as if I have been repeating old habits--the same old pattern. Here's my situation: <br />
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<b>Part one of the pattern:</b> Life with three kids and business happens and takes over my life and I "fall off the wagon" so to speak and return to the bad habits of eating too much, lots of junk, staying up way too late, watching wayyyyy too much TV, and feeling like crap! And this goes on for a while. <br />
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<b>Part two of the pattern:</b> I decide that I need to regroup, so I tell my husband that I need to be by myself for a while. I need to get away. I need time and quiet. So I take the laptop and head to the library or to the coffee shop (for that one last mocha) or to the coffee shop and then the library. And I try to regroup. I try to recommit to "the plan." I try to get my brain in focus so that I can do the work, stick to a plan, and live the life I say I want to live. A lot of times I get distracted by the computer and blogs and commentary and junk. A lot of time I waste my time. But I do decide to start again--after that last coffee and that last night of overeating. Usually I spend a LONG time in this part of the pattern--waiting for that perfect time to start again, for when I am really, REALLY ready.<br />
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<b>Part three of the pattern: </b>And then I am on plan--I'm eating well, I'm moving my body, I'm writing it all down-- for a few days, maybe a week, definitely not a month and then it's BACK TO PART ONE!<br />
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I can not tell you how often I have repeated this same old pattern. I bet I have repeated this pattern at least 20 times over the course of the past few years. Seriously, I am doing it right now. Although I'm not at the coffee shop; I'm in my bedroom, trying to escape three children who never stop talking. And as I continue this post, I have also been to the coffee shop. (I wrote this post a few weeks ago before I started using MFP). <br />
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So this is one key for me: I need to avoid returning to this same old pattern! I need to throw this pattern in the garbage--no more! I need to find a new pattern for when life becomes too much, for when the endless questions of a six year old put me over the edge, for when I just need a little quiet, for when the chaos of my life with children seems to be a great reason to throw in the towel and lay on the couch and eat chocolate.<br />
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A new pattern is what I need! I'm on the hunt for a new pattern. I could lie to you right now and say--I know what I have to do! This is what I will do instead of patterns one, two, and three detailed above. I have figured out what to do by sorting through my thoughts right here and now.<br />
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But I do not know! That's part of my problem. That's why I am here. And honestly, I'm just trying to figure out how to manage my life without returning to food. I don't have the answers.<br />
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But I do know how to create a pattern: repeat, repeat, repeat!<br />
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I'm on the hunt for a new pattern. . . perhaps with time, action, lots of writing, and repetition, I will find it here!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-46112982692534016692011-06-17T09:05:00.000-05:002011-06-17T09:05:03.524-05:00Skin Cancer, Sun, and Weight LossEarlier this week, I went to a dermatologist that a friend recommend to have my body checked for moles. I have a number of large moles--especially on my back where I can't see. And even though I don't burn and tan easily, I was a lifeguard for a few years in college--so I know I have had excessive sun exposure.<br />
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So this dermatologist, whom I was preparing to like since a friend recommended, was really direct with me--almost scolding--and so I didn't like her :) -- but I've been thinking a lot about what she said. Here were her very direct recommendations:<br />
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--Do NOT go out into the sun between the hours of 11 AM and 4 PM.<br />
--Burning is worse, but any tanning is bad--it changes the DNA of your skin and leads to skin cancer. <br />
--Wear sunglasses and hats<br />
--Sunscreen Number Matters -- SPF 50 or more<br />
--Reapply sunscreen every 2 hours <br />
--Even when it's not very hot out, you still need to wear sunscreen<br />
--1 in 5 Americans will get skin cancer. Because I have had extreme exposure--I will most likely get skin cancer.<br />
--If you have a mole, it doesn't mean the cancer is contained in that spot--it could be all over your body. <br />
--Don't let your children be lifeguards.<br />
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Now I'm guessing that this doctor had her reasons for being very direct with me--and I'm guessing those reasons have something to do with wanting me to take this seriously. And I can buy in to ALMOST everything she said. <b> But here's the kicker:</b><br />
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<b>Staying inside between the hours of 11 am and 4 pm just won't work--and here's why:</b> We live in Minnesota, a state that typically only gets three warm months a year (and perhaps a few more weeks if we are lucky). So when we get the sun, we are going to enjoy it! When we get a hot, sunny day, we are going to go to the beach, or the lake, or outside for some summer fun! We endure the cold, cold MN winters, so we deserve a little fun in the sun for a few months. My children are also inside SO much during the year--and this is summer--we want to enjoy every second of it before the school year creeps up on us once again. <br />
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So I can get on board with all of her recommendations--we will slather on the sunscreen and wear protective gear--but we WILL be outside--enjoying life! And that's OK with me!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>SO here's what this all has to do with weight loss for me: </b></span><br />
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--I have to do what I can and accept the consequences of those choices. <br />
--Doing nothing is not an option--and is really irresponsible.<br />
--I need to take care of my body, I WANT to take care of my body--so managing my eating and activity is necessary--just like managing sun exposure is a necessary reality.<br />
--I have to do what I can do--even though I will not be perfect! But that is life.<br />
--I have to be realistic in what I can do and what works for me.<br />
--And my expectations of what I can/can't do might change over time as I change and life happens.<br />
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So that's my sun and skin cancer connection. Makes sense to me. These days with weight loss heavily on my mind, everything relates back to it. (BTW, I had to have two moles removed, and will find out next if they pose any problem.) And I'm not sure if I will go back to this dermatologist--I prefer a gentler approach--but time will tell. I could change my mind. Life could change my mind.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-59279734331898053322011-06-15T22:00:00.000-05:002011-06-15T22:00:01.507-05:00Why Jen to Lose?When I decided to write on this lil old blog thing, I couldn't decide on a name. Originally, I wanted to call it "Jen's Simple Gifts," because I LOVE the words to that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simple_Gifts">old Shaker tune</a>. These words just speak to me--about so many aspects of my life:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/XiLTwtuBi-o?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
<dl><dd>'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free</dd><dd>'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,</dd><dd>And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
<dl><dd>'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.</dd></dl></dd><dd>When true simplicity is gain'd,<br />
<dl><dd>To bow and bend we shan't be asham'd,</dd></dl></dd><dd>To turn, turn will be our delight,<br />
<dl><dd>Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.</dd></dl></dd></dl><br />
I just think our lives get so crazy, and we make them crazy. If I can just focus on the simple gifts that are my life--like a body that's still ticking, and three beautiful children, and a great husband who loves me because I'm me, and a little house that's small and cozy and works for our family, and home cooking, and activities that don't cost a lot--like playing games and park going, and swimming in lakes--THEN I can find peace. Sometimes easier said than done, but I think it is TRUTH--my truth.<br />
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I also think the words apply to losing weight. It doesn't have to be so complicated (I make it WAY complicated), and it doesn't have to cost a lot of money. It's about focusing on the simple basics--like moving my body, eating natural food, and taking care of this body and mind--which really is a gift.<br />
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But for some unintelligible, probably ridiculous, reason,I did not feel like "Jen's Simple Gifts" was where I should go--it just didn't seem right. So in the wee hours of the night, I came up with<a href="http://jentolose.blogspot.com/"> Jen to Lose</a>. I actually don't even remember where this came from, but I decided to go with it.<br />
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The major thing I DON'T like about it is that it seems to focus on the scale--on losing the pounds--on weight, weight, weight. But we all know that it is really so much more than that, and I DON'T want to focus on just the scale.<br />
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But then I started thinking more about it, and I realized that <a href="http://jentolose.blogspot.com/">Jen to Lose</a> is so much more than about weight. It's about losing the "starting over" mentality. It's about losing bad habits. It's about GAINING a maintainable change in the way I live my life. In the past, I've had a tagline that says, "Losing the weight. . . gaining the world." I like this.<br />
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But right now my tag line is, "Learning It, Living It, Losing It:"<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Learning It:</b></span> learning different behaviors, learning new tools, learning what I need to do to live a healthier, happier life.<br />
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<b>Living It</b>: Doing the work! That means taking the things I am learning and doing them over and over and over again.<br />
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<b>Losing It:</b> So of course this means losing the pounds--losing the weight--and tracking that progress. But it also means losing the things that are NOT working for me. It means losing the processed food and going more natural. It means losing old patterns and learning new ones. It means LOSING the belief that I will be stuck here forever and embracing the FACT that this is my time to do the work and make a change.<br />
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So that's where I'm at ---<span style="font-size: large;"><i> <a href="http://jentolose.blogspot.com/">Jen to Lose</a> -- Losing It, Living It, Learning It.</i></span> I'll give it a shot.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>How do you come up with your blog title?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i> </i></span>Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-77886630898272233552011-06-12T22:00:00.001-05:002011-06-12T22:00:02.185-05:00My Simple PlanIf you have tried to lose some pounds as many times as I have, you also have a "weight lost" past to look back on. And sometimes, I like to look back there and remember some of the good things from that past. Like, I remember how great I felt when I walked EVERY day--rain or shine. And I remember how good it felt to be working toward a goal and actually making it happen. And I remember how great it felt to be living my life--being active, fit! And I remember I loved the feeling of knowing who I was and what was important to me!<br />
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I can also look at my current life and recognize a few behaviors that are just NOT working for me--some behaviors I need to let go in the efforts to learn some new ones.<br />
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So based on my past and present--and in an effort to keep things simple--I have a SHORT list of behaviors that I know can and will help me make a few changes in my life. I'm not planning on being perfect with these--or even obsessing about these. I just want to recognize the basics--for me--and see how being a little more intentional with these areas can help. These are the new patterns that I want to embrace:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. Track what I eat</b></span> -- that means write it down in order to ensure that I'm eating the healthy stuff while balancing the treats (One goal is to shed some pounds after all. I am using Weight Watchers to do this, and I will discuss this more in the future I am sure). <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. Move my body</b></span> -- get the activity in--every day! Now I know that for me this involves some alone activity like going to the gym or taking a walk. But it also involves family things, like playing outside together, biking, or taking the long way to the park.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. Get Enough Sleep</b></span> -- This is huge one for me. I often stay up late, late, because I love the alone time in my house when the kids are finally asleep! The problem is that I stay up way too late watching TV, and then I'm way tired the next day--which makes it hard to follow through on the tracking my food and moving my body! So my plan is to use my evening time for something more quality (less TV and more something else). My plan is to get to bed by 10 or 10:30 PM. I truly believe that this will help me be successful in changing my life! <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>4. Check In with Myself </b></span>-- When I have had success losing the pounds in the past, I have routinely kept a daily journal! Lately, this is something that I've had a hard time getting in, but I also know what it can help me make the changes I want. I've used a paper journal at my bedside and I've used this lil old blog. I'm going to try to use both more often--on a regular basis. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>5. Check my Calendar Daily </b></span>-- For me, trying to lose weight also involves trying to live a more directed life. As a SAHM, it can be easy to just let things fall where they may. I feel like I have gotten lazy. And though I maintain our family's calendar so we get to where we need to go, I want to DIRECT my calendar so that we are participating in the activities that are important to us.<br />
<br />
So that's my simple plan. Now, for my complicated, detailed mind, there are tons more aspects to the process. But in all honesty and simplicity, these five things are IT! That's it! Now if only doing them consistently would be as simple. . . Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-82544523373094365912011-06-08T22:00:00.000-05:002011-06-08T22:00:04.087-05:00How to Start Again?It's hard to begin to write again. Because it's the same old story: Try to lose weight; rededicate myself; go strong for a few weeks; busy family life interferes; and I give up. I go back to old habits of abusing food--of using food as entertainment, as a reward, as solace, as relaxation.<br />
<br />
Since the last time I posted (in September 2010), I even made a few positive steps forward. I decided to join Weight Watchers--to receive available help and to work a program that I know could work for me. And we decided to cough up the big bucks and join our local community center --the gym! <br />
<br />
But even when you pay for the services and the resources are available, you have to be willing to make the change. And you have to be willing to do the work. And you have to be willing to keep trying to figure it out. And you have to be willing to work it and do it and live it--even though the demands of family and children and life and husband seem to get in the way--seem to be THE excuse to throw in the towel.<br />
<br />
And, since you're being honest with yourself--you just haven't been willing to do the work! You have been sitting in old self destructive habits -- such as lazing on the couch all of the time, such as watching way too much TV, such as eating the same old junk to numb what ever it is you are trying to numb, such as staying up way too late, such as using food as your reason to live--sounds like a really great life Jen, now doesn't it? You have been unwilling to even TRY to let go of all of your self destruction habits. Even right now, you are sitting in Caribou, drinking the fattest Mocha you could buy--even when you had other options.<br />
<br />
It's a sad, hard place to be. Starting again. Have you been there?<br />
<br />
How can I make this time different? How can I keep going? How can I get in that "right" mind set? You know the one-- the one where you know and feel and BELIEVE that you can do it! You are centered and focused and you act on what you want! And you move forward. And you are doing it! Living it! Changing your life! How do I get there? How do I do that? How do I make this time the last time? How do I do it, how do I do it, how do I do it? ? ? ? ?<br />
<br />
And how do I do it when we have laundry up to the ceilings, no food in the house, and bathrooms that are so disgusting, I don't even know what to do? And how do I do it when I have to run kids to a million different places in just one night, and we don't get home until 8 pm? How do I do it when I have four other people whose needs I need to care for, and there is absolutely no time for myself? How, how, how?<br />
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Clearly, these are some of the challenges I am facing in my life. And clearly, I'm still looking for ways to manage my life and work towards the life of health and wellness that I'm striving for. I'm still trying to find the answer to the question. And you all out there in bloggy land can't answer these for me! These are the questions that I have to figure out for me, for this chapter in my life.<br />
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And I'm feeling optimistic at the moment--because I KNOW the answers to these questions are out there--or even inside of me--if I just keep trying to find them. So I'm going to keep trying. It's all I've got right now. But I'm going to keep trying. I have resources. I have the will.<br />
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And I'm going to use this blog to sort it all out for me, to keep me accountable, to bear the burdens that weigh on my heart as I continue to figure my life out--one moment, one decision at a time. <br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>I do believe that facing and conquering this beast of an addiction called "losing weight" -- is THE greatest challenge of my life. And when I do it, it will be one--if not THE--greatest accomplishment of my life.</b><br />
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Otherwise it wouldn't be so important. Otherwise it wouldn't be so hard at time. Otherwise it wouldn't take time. Otherwise I wouldn't have invested (wasted) so much energy, thought, and emotion in trying to figure it all out.<br />
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But I am going to keep trying. And I BELIEVE that this time -- IS my time! That I am moving forward! That starting is the first step. . . .Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-16053486229842839912010-09-28T05:00:00.002-05:002010-09-28T11:01:08.786-05:00Finish What You StartedIn my world of trying to lose weight and weight-loss blogging, I feel there are tons of broken, unfilled promises to myself. There has been lots of starting. And starting over. And taking breaks. This is not good or bad. It just is. I've struggled to find my way. Again--just my past reality.<br />
<br />
The thing is -- I have to keep trying. And the thing is -- I'm a pretty smart person. And the thing is -- I know I WILL figure this thing out for myself. And the thing is -- I will not give up. I will keep trying.<br />
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I have all of the information and facts needed to change the way I eat, move, live. But there is something that's making it hard for me to act on that knowledge. And I WILL figure out what that is. That's why I'm going to keep blogging, keep trying. I might need to look at the world--and myself--and my life--differently. I might need new resources. I might even need a friend or two. Because I'm going to keep going. I believe in myself.<br />
<br />
Today, I'm trying to take a moment to breathe.<br />
<br />
Today, I'm trying to take a moment to focus.<br />
<br />
Today I'm trying to focus on small goals -- like <a href="http://jentolose.blogspot.com/2010/09/just-five-pounds-goal-2185.html">Just Five Pounds</a> -- and what I can do TODAY to live my life TODAY.<br />
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Today I'm going to BELIEVE that every thing that I have to do does not have to be a crisis. And that life with three kids is just --life. It doesn't have to be crazy.<br />
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By focusing on today, on small goals like 5 pounds, or the healthy snack I am eating right now (PB and apple--yum!), I will finish what I've started. I will stick to a promise that I made to me. I will be on my way!<br />
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It feels good to say all this. Makes me feel awesome that I have today!<br />
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And now to my laundry room -- another unfinished project--that will be completed today!<br />
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Do you have a hard time finishing projects that you've started? Any finishing strategies?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-27310979858843029872010-09-27T05:24:00.000-05:002010-09-27T05:24:57.116-05:00Just Five Pounds Goal: 218.5Well, it's 5:20 AM -- and I am awake in my kitchen. Quiet.<br />
<br />
9/27/10 Weigh In: 223.5<br />
Goal Weight Loss: 5 pounds<br />
Final Weight: 218.5<br />
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I'm really trying to keep it simple. I'm really trying to focus on a small task. I know weight loss is about so much more than the scale. It's about my life -- and how I want to live it.<br />
<br />
I'll weigh in next Monday and see what progress I have made.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-37497953802152376352010-09-26T22:25:00.000-05:002010-09-26T22:25:36.117-05:00Just Five PoundsGoals are important--yes! <br />
<br />
But goals are overrated! Really they are! <br />
<br />
Yes I have goals! I have things in my head that I want to accomplish. I have things I want to accomplish written down on a piece of paper. I have reasons why I want to lose the weight -- need to lose the weight. And I know what they are. Honestly -- all of my words, words, words makes things very complicated! Spelling out all of these goals to you right now just isn't worth it.<br />
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Now seeing me ACT on a simple goal--that would be an accomplishment!<br />
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<br />
So I'm trying to keep this simple. And here it is--a simple goal: to lose 5 pounds. And to reward myself when it's accomplished!<br />
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Tomorrow morning, I will share my weight. And I will do the work to lose 5 pounds.<br />
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It's just five pounds! Even with a busy life, I can do that! I might not be in the "gym rat scene" right now, but I can step up my activity. I might not be the "perfect" eater right now, but I can make some better choices in order to make a little progress.<br />
<br />
5 pounds is a little step. 5 pounds is nothing. 5 pounds is keeping it simple. 5 pounds is doable.<br />
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Check out my journey to lose 5 BIG little pounds. It's a simple goal. It's my goal. <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>How would you change your life if you were just going to lose just 5 pounds?</b></i></span>Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-91382114331002054862010-09-26T22:11:00.000-05:002010-09-26T22:11:33.332-05:00Weight Loss Is Really about Time Management!Everybody has busy lives. I won't bore you with too many details of my life, but I will say--WE ARE SO BUSY! And it's kind of making us a little crazy (us being me and my husband). We're not really sure why, but life with three kids is a little out of control right now. <br />
<br />
We used to mow our lawn regularly; now we are lucky if it gets done every two weeks, and it gets long. I've been trying to tackle cleaning my laundry room for I don't know how long; on Saturday, I was able to complete 1/4 of the cleaning, but then my 1 year old woke up and work time was over; and my best example: I picked out the "least dirty" pair of underwear out of my son's laundry for him to wear after his bath tonight--and yes I'm washing whites right now in my crazy, messed up, not clean laundry room. <br />
<br />
I'm not sure why things are so crazy, but they are. I'm not trying to complain because I get that we all are busy--just trying to get a handle on things. And here's my realization --<br />
<br />
<div style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>If I'm going to accomplish some real weight loss, I'm going to need to keep trying to manage my time! </b></span></div><br />
Planning is so important!<br />
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And here's my second realization --<br />
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<div style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>If I'm going to accomplish anything, I need some QUIET time! </b></span></div><br />
All by myself time. Just me time. Alone time. Without a one year old crawling under the table to reach me time. Non-referee time. Quiet time. Peaceful time. A non "she hit me" time.<br />
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And when do you think I could find some of this time????????? <br />
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If you are a parent, you've probably guessed it --- <span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>5 AM!</b></span><br />
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Now I should really mention that I am not a morning person -- I'm not NOT a morning person. I think I have the potential to become a morning person. But it's going to take some work, some change, some getting to bed a little early. <br />
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Up to this point, I've been more of a late night person. The problem with that -- by the time I get the kids to bed, I'm beat, and the TV too quickly reels me in.<br />
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And what will I do at 5 AM??<br />
<br />
--Drink a cup of coffee.<br />
--Plan my grocery list and weekly menu.<br />
--Write a blog post or two.<br />
--Comment on a blog post or two.<br />
--Actually take a shower before my kids wake up.<br />
--A load of laundry.<br />
--Read a magazine, a book???<br />
--Do a little activity -- OK I'm not going here yet, but I'm not ruling it out.<br />
<br />
Quite Time = Focused Time = Focused Mom = Happy Mom = Planning Complete = Weight loss<br />
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Makes sense to me!!!<br />
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<i><b>How do you handle the business of your life? How do you make weight loss a priority?</b></i>Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-61880558581965731212010-09-16T22:39:00.000-05:002010-09-16T22:39:33.590-05:00Days 5 & 6: 9/15/10 & 9/16/10So I realized today that I didn't post yesterday, so I wanted to make sure I checked in today. I'm still going, writing down what I eat, following a plan. I'm not doing it perfectly, but I'm doing it. I could go into all of the things I could do more of or better (like eating more produce and drinking more water or getting more activity), but I won't hash all that right now. I'm not doing it perfectly, which is a good thing. <br />
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I made granola earlier in the week, and was craving some today. Had a bowl for a snack--delish. Wrote it down and was accountable. It's feeling OK. I'm pretty tired at the moment, and am not focusing at the moment. Need to hit the hay.<br />
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I've found it hard to get computer time these days with my one year old. He was pretty demanding of my time today--not feeling quite himself. But that's OK--am loving my time with him.<br />
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Until tomorrow. There's a chance I might get in a few "meatier" posts. Anythings possible:)Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-89483422915952111152010-09-14T18:56:00.000-05:002010-09-14T18:56:36.763-05:00Day 4: 9/14/10I these aren't exciting posts, but I just want to check in. Things are going well. Now that the kids are back in school, I've been able to so some more cooking in my kitchen--love it! Feel like I've been away for a while. Besides our turkey dinner on Monday, I made granola--not for me but for my picky eater son who loves it! Also had an easy dinner of ham and beans (dried pinto beans, ham bone, and water in slow roaster all day)--works for me. Not sure how much fat from the ham seeped into the beans--didn't seem too bad.<br />
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Spent the afternoon with my boys at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum--a wonderful place to take a walk. They have a great kid's maze there, so my son was very willing to walk to the maze; the walk back was a bit more challenging, but we made it.<br />
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Hopefully soon, I'll have more interesting thoughts on interesting topics. But for today, checking in is a good thing. I have a babe crying at my heals, and I"m pretty tired too, and it's not even 7 pm, so I'm signing off for the night.<br />
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Thanks for reading!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-14629920277675615052010-09-13T22:53:00.000-05:002010-09-13T22:53:17.623-05:00Day 3: 9/13/10Just checking in before I hit the hay. I'm hanging in there at Day 3--that's a pretty good accomplishment for me. Another fine day in our neck of the woods--mid 70's and sunny. What can go wrong on such a beautiful day as this. I've been thinking about posting more thoughts on some specific topics, but my time right now is limited. It's always limited, but that will come. Right now I'm just checking in.<br />
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Followed my plan; counted my points; and got in a little activity. Went for a walk with my two boys today--one in the stroller and one on training wheels. It was a little on the long side for my biker, so I shortened it up a bit, but it was still a nice 40-45 minute walk--I'll take it.<br />
<br />
I've had a turkey in my freezer since last winter, and I finally got it in the oven. It made a nice dinner (which I admit I ate too much off, but not the worst thing I could do), and will make for great sandwiches and a few other meals this week. I'm thinking I'm going to cook up the stock and make some homemade turkey soup. Could be interesting.<br />
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So those are my day 3 ramblings. It's feeling good. Got to take those good days when you got them!<br />
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Hope you all are having a great week! Do you have any good, healthy turkey recipes?Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-66184376314155201752010-09-12T22:26:00.000-05:002010-09-12T22:26:24.057-05:00Day 2: 9/12/10: Apple Picking & Bike Riding<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYMXK9CUwJvitU7ji3BPBV22rOCfwj8zt-OVSduBFnaDJBHTkSeBv4EIJigL-z5KtMzRe08tCIJh665XUeSss1zeMmdanJwgqUGN6L2m5ZIqpi0AHgFq5aIxHAwEv-qjeknvCQzZdWh59n/s1600/IMG_4209.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYMXK9CUwJvitU7ji3BPBV22rOCfwj8zt-OVSduBFnaDJBHTkSeBv4EIJigL-z5KtMzRe08tCIJh665XUeSss1zeMmdanJwgqUGN6L2m5ZIqpi0AHgFq5aIxHAwEv-qjeknvCQzZdWh59n/s320/IMG_4209.JPG" /></a></div> I'm checking in on day 2 of my 38 days. It was a very nice day--one of those days where we didn't have to run anywhere. I stayed on plan, wrote down what I ate, and got in a little activity.<br />
<br />
My family and I hit the apple orchard today. It was a gorgeous day--in the mid 70's and sunny (after a depression, gloomy week before)--the perfect day to pick apples. Last year, we had an early frost, and we missed apple picking season, so I wanted to make sure we made it this year.<br />
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We go to a cute little orchard about 20 minutes away. It's perfect: a little store, tractor/wagon ride out to the apples, a few animals to look at, and a few hay bales for the kids to climb. It's simple, perfect, and not overdone. Now the fall colors haven't started to change yet (I can't wait), and there were only two varieties of apples to pick, so I"m pretty sure we will be headed back.<br />
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I love apple season, and there are so many great apple recipes--ones that are relatively healthy. Today, for a snack, we had our apple slices with light caramel--perfect. I also love baked apples and apple crisp. I also have a great recipe for healthy apple muffins. I think I will have to share a few of my recipes soon!:)<br />
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We also went on a family bike ride. Now that my little guy is over a year, he travels nicely in the Burley. If only my almost 6 year old (in the pict above) would learn to ride without training wheels. This little guy is having such a time adjusting to Kindergarten, and his anxiety is coming out in other ways -- like crying all the way home on our bike ride. Oh well--it's all part of growing up. I'm walking him to school tomorrow instead of the bus--trying to make him feel a little safer.<br />
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So that's my "newsy" day 2! It was good, and it feels great to be back on track!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-83014396903141680042010-09-11T21:57:00.002-05:002010-09-11T21:59:44.257-05:00Day 1: 9/11/10So I actually started. Today. This was the day. It wasn't a perfect day, but I'm going, and I feel pretty good about it. I need to talk more about perfection--and how it's my downfall, but I will have lots of time for that.<br />
<br />
I decided this morning that I was going to act on my plan --today. And I was doing great until my husband said, "Where are you taking me for lunch?" Right then I knew I had a choice, and I didn't make a good one (or so I thought). We chose to go to Famous Dave's, and I had a big lunch.<br />
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Now I could have used that as an excuse to live in denial, in limbo for another day--I've done it before. But I didn't. Instead, I went for a walk. And while I was walking, I thought about what I ate at Famous Dave's--and do you know what? It really wasn't that bad. It certainly wasn't a reason to throw in the towel and eat with abandon.<br />
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So I ate a light supper, and skipped the bread and dessert. I wrote down what I ate, I had some good activity, and I'm writing on this thing. All in all, I'd call that a pretty good start.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>So what am I doing: </b></span><br />
<br />
I've spelled it all out on <a href="http://jentolose.blogspot.com/p/my-plan.html">My Plan</a> page. I actually wrote this out in July, and I feel like it is a good summation of what I want to do and the things I should do that can help me be successful.<br />
<br />
I need to update my Goals and Rewards page, which I will do soon, and, knowing me, will probably have too many details. But right now I have three basic goals:<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Goal 1: To follow my plan for 38 days </b></span>-- in homage to home many years I've been alive. My plan is to post on Jen to Lose everyday for 38 days. <br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Goal 2: To return to my pre-pregnancy weight,</b></span> which is right around 200 lbs (now I don't expect to do that in 38 days. We'll just see.)<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Goal 3: To track and reduce inches on my stomach</b></span>. Did I mention that I had a baby. A year ago. OK almost 14 months ago. My stomach grew during pregnancy, but in the last year, it hasn't shrunk. It needs to shrink. I'm going to start working on this and make some serious, solid, progress. I might set a more specific goal for my 38 days, but that will need to wait until tomorrow.<br />
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That's it. Where I'm at on Day 1. It's all good. Time for bed. See you tomorrowJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-31190807210015778242010-09-09T16:33:00.000-05:002010-09-09T16:33:51.889-05:00To WW or Not to WW?With the start of the school year, I am trying to get a better schedule in place for myself. I want to manage my time, energy, and household better. In the six years I've been home with my kids, I've found myself getting too unstructured! Too lackadaisical! OK, I'll say it -- TOO LAZY! When your time is your own (and your kids don't get on the bus until 9 AM), it becomes too easy to sleep in, too easy to let the breakfast dishes sit until after lunch, and every day becomes a "what should we do" day -- and NOTHING gets done!<br />
<br />
I'm still learning that I work and function best when I have STRUCTURE and ROUTINE in my life -- something that's simple, not too complicated, and allows me some flexibility. Easier said than done usually -- another thing I'll keep working on. Anyway. <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Here's my dilemma --</b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Should I or shouldn't I pay the money and attend weekly Weight Watcher meetings?</b></span></div><br />
I have gone to WW meetings in the past, and have had some good success. I have also gone to WW meetings in the past, paid the money, and ate like crap, chose NOT to follow the program, and made zero progress. My point is that to lose weight and change my life, it is going to take a level of commitment on my part -- and I'm going to need that whether I attend meetings or not. <br />
<br />
A strong part of me believes that I have the information I need to lose weight. I just need to put it into action. But the WW meetings would provide some great support, information, and fresh ideas. <br />
<br />
I'm somewhat torn. Here' my Pros and Cons List:<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #cc0000;"><b>Reasons to Attend WW Meetings</b></div>--Weekly weigh in's keep me accountable.<br />
--Support <br />
--Over the past months, I've had a hard time acting on my plans. Meetings could kick my butt into gear!<br />
--Force me to take the time for myself every week, which is sometimes hard to commit to with my family's busy schedule.<br />
--Paying the money might force me to act (for a while).<br />
<div style="color: #cc0000;"><br />
</div><b><span style="color: #cc0000;">Reasons NOT to attend WW Meetings </span></b><br />
--I can track my weekly weigh in's with this blog. Ultimately I have to be accountable to myself.<br />
--I can receive support online -- through a weight loss community and communicating with other like bloggers.<br />
--Life is really busy with my family activities. I don't want to take one of my few free mornings to go to a meeting. When I can use that time to do other important things.<br />
--Money -- I don't want to pay it! I shouldn't have to pay someone else $$ for me to lose weight. I could save that money and use it to buy some new clothes every month I am committed to my plan.<br />
--Blogging can be a great tool to help me express myself, to receive ideas on lots of different arenas -- I just need to commit to it as well.<br />
--I already have lots of information on how to work the WW program. I just need to do the work!<br />
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I'm running out of time. My hour is up, and I have to return to my family (wonder what we are having for dinner?), so my thoughts are getting more random. But I wanted to close with my decision right now:<br />
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<b style="color: #cc0000;">My Decision Right Now -- I'm NOT going to attend WW meetings right now.</b> But I need to act on my plan right now -- let's get going Jen and get your action plan on the move. If I still find myself failing to act in one week's time -- that's Thursday, Sept 16, 2010, I will THEN go back to meetings.<br />
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What do you think? Have you done Weight Watchers before? Have you found the weekly meetings worth the money?<br />
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I'm sure I'll have more to say on this topic, but now have to run! Thanks for reading!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-40867227224000213782010-09-09T16:00:00.001-05:002010-09-11T21:58:16.939-05:00School Is in Session -- Now What?My kids went back to school this week! (Insert lots of cheering!!) Summer time is all about the kids and activities. I feel like now, my life can start again. I have been craving more routine and a schedule that gives me a little "me" time. I really need it!<br />
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My second child started Kindergarten this week, so we have had a few challenges this week with the uncertainty of this new experience--some tears, excitement, and some definite anxiety. He is now doing great with two days under his belt. And it's only half-day Kindergarten, so I am very fortunate to have him come home to me for lunch and an afternoon of mom - son activities. I'm going to cherish this year that I have with him and make the most of it. They grow up so fast!<br />
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It was with the birth of my now Kindergartner that I became a stay-at-home mom. I took a long term leave of absence from my job as a middle school library media specialist; we took a leap of faith because we didn't think we could afford it; and here I am SIX years later -- still home with a one year old at my feet as well. Life really is good, things are good. I'm certain that I will one day want to return to work, but those thoughts are for another time and place. Right now I'm glad to be where I'm at.<br />
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Six years ago, when I decided to stay home with my babies, one of the reasons I used to justify leaving my job was -- <b style="color: #cc0000;">I would have more time and energy to focus on losing the weight and living healthy. </b> And here I am --another baby later and still struggling with the same weight and food issues.<br />
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So with the start of the school year for the kids comes a fresh start for this Mom to really commit to making a lasting and ongoing change in the way I live my life.<br />
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Over the course of the last few months, I've really struggled with making a commitment to myself and my goals. I've struggled with <b style="color: #cc0000;">actually doing the work</b> to make the changes that I want. I've blogged on again and off again.<br />
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All I can say is that I'm here. I'm trying. I'm using this blog as a tool. And I'm going to keep trying. I really think I can tackle these challenges in my life -- and change the way I deal with them. I'm going to keep trying and keep trying and keep trying. I'm going to learn what works for me. I'm going to work towards goals and expectations that I set for myself -- and I'm moving forward.<br />
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</b></div><div style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>And I'm going to keep trying. That's all I can do!</b></span></div><br />
Thanks for reading, following my journey, and even leaving a comment here or there! I appreciate it!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-13006331566906676122010-09-04T21:50:00.000-05:002010-09-04T21:50:35.459-05:00The State FairI'm still around. Just busy. I live in Minnesota, and my kids don't go back to school until after Labor Day. We've been going, going, going lately with end of the summer fun and back to school shopping. Not an excuse for not posting--just how life is. I will post more, because I need it, but for me, it has to wait until after school starts.<br />
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Today, we spent the day at the "Great MN Get Together"--the State Fair. Very interesting! In walking around, people watching, I found the experience to be a microcosm view of the obesity problem in our culture. As I watched all of the people, I remembered one of<a href="http://www.anonymousfatgirl.com/index.php/2010/08/obesity-its-time-to-make-some-changes-2/"> Bobbie's posts</a> from Anonymous Fat Girl, and found myself playing a kind of "Duck, Duck, Goose "game (did you know in MN, we call it Duck, Duck Gray Duck? I digress). Obese, obese, obese, fit, obese, obese, obese, fit, ect, etc. <br />
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I saw people of all shapes and sizes, but the amount of obese people was very high, and the amount of obese people using little carts/wheel chairs to get around was high. I believe that if I attended the fair 10 or 15 or 20 years earlier, the people would look different. This kind of makes me sad, and is a poignant indicator that obesity is a real problem in our country--an EXTREME problem. And I don't want to be part of that problem.<br />
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And if you know anything about the MN fair, it's all about eating the food anyway. I'm not even going to talk about the food I ate--not pretty. Anyway. The reason people go to the fair is to eat! And that's a sad statement about our culture as well.<br />
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I don't really know what to make of this all, but I just couldn't NOT say something about it. Even if it's just to help me process.<br />
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I also read in the paper that the Biggest Loser had a casting at the fair earlier in the week. How appropriate.<br />
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All I can say is that when I go the State Fair next year, I want to do it differently! Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-41365924639436664122010-08-18T22:44:00.003-05:002010-08-18T22:57:12.630-05:00Back from VacationWe just got back today from a six day vacation "up North" -- hence the reason I haven't written on here for a week. We had a great time--it was a much needed break from reality. We stayed at a cabin, fished, took some boat rides, and just relaxed. It was really, really nice. <br />
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At the same time, I fully admit I am such a home body! And after five nights away, I am SO glad to be back home. And now, I feel like I can tackle all of the challenges back at home--like getting my kids ready to go back to school, and all the other stuff that's at home!<br />
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I did come to two realizations on vacation. <b>ONE -- Planning is so important!</b> If I had planned our vacation meals better before leaving, I could have saved us lots of time, money, and calories. I need to take more time planning my menu and grocery shopping.<br />
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<b>TWO -- OK, I admit it. I can't do this weight loss thing alone. </b> I need some help! And although I just hate to do it, because I hate to part with the money, I'm going back to Weight Watchers. I don't know why I've fought going back--well, I hate to pay the money. I kind of figured that if I was to lose the weight for good, I needed to figure out how to do it on my own. But be honest with yourself Jen--that's just not working for you. (And at about $10 a week, it's not that costly. I'm sure I waste $10 on junk often!)<br />
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So Weight Watchers it is. And I have had good success using their program in the past--but then I would go and have another baby and unravel any success I had. But I'm pretty certain that my baby bearing days are over. So it's time to move forward and get the help I need.<br />
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Everything is a little more challenging since I am with my children ALL of the time (can you tell I am looking forward to school starting). So OK, I'm going to start WW the same week my kids go back to school--the week after Labor Day. I would start this week, but I really don't want to mess with having someone watch my kids. I know, sounds lame, but that's where I am right now.<br />
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But that doesn't mean I can't be conscientious right now. And that means I'm heading to bed to get a good nights sleep. Yes it's a rambling post, but I'm glad to be posting. I'm going to keep trying to make this blog thing work for me.Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-4769173236661233512010-08-11T06:00:00.001-05:002010-08-11T06:00:00.507-05:00Posting and Comments<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Posting -- </b></span><br />
I haven't posted on this baby for quite some time. Because I have started and stopped and started and stopped so many times in the last six months--the story of my life, you know--I'm a bit hesitant about how I'm going to use this blog for my weight loss purposes. I feel like I have failed, but I haven't really. I have wasted my time, yes, but trying to move forward and act is a really great thing for me! I don't want to talk about the past, but I do want to learn from the struggles.<br />
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As I begin to work my program, I was tempted to give myself a grace period. I would get going in my plan for a few weeks and then start publishing my posts. But that doesn't really keep me accountable. And I need accountability -- to myself that I will post and track on this darn thing.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Comments -- </b></span><br />
I find that I love it when people leave a comment on one of my posts. But I have also find myself too influenced by the words or tone or innuendo of many well intentioned comments. When people comment with words of encouragement, I feel like I am being too whimpy and whining. And when people call me out on my inability to act or my long-winded-ness, I take it too personally. I was tempted to start posting again and turn the comments off, just for a while. But no--comments are a good thing. I want to connect with others out there who are sharing their own weight loss journey. I want it to be about connection and communication and sharing information<br />
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So as I continue with my journey here, I am trying to really focus on my vision and how I want to proceed. It's about me right now, selfishly about me and what I am doing. So please leave a comment if my words reach you. And if I don't respond or reply to a comment right now, know that it's because I'm trying to focus on my own vision, my own acceptance of who I am and what I'm doing. Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-44814399553493687692010-08-10T13:33:00.000-05:002010-08-10T13:33:25.834-05:00What I Am Learning -- Planning Is Key!Whew! What a day I've had and it's only lunch time! So Sunday night when I was regrouping for the week, it sounded like a great idea to start blogging--to really put myself out there! And right away I'm taught that my imperfect life is not a reason to overeat and throw in the towel. A little blogging right now means a little accountability. So I'm still here.<br />
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<b>So here's the short on what's happening and what I'm learning:</b><br />
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Life this last day and a half has been crazy--as usual. I've been preparing, loading, and delivering tons of stuff to a local consignment sale--my attempt to rid the baby gear while not having my own garage sale. A mom's night out last night proved too tempting (food wise) and a rain storm messed up my whole morning and delivery of my sale items. Top it all off, I finally get my kids home for lunch and we have hardly any food in the house. Bad news!<br />
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So my first reaction is to throw in the towel and say--life's crazy--let's eat! Not such a good reaction.<br />
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What I'm learning is that I have to PLAN, PLAN, PLAN! My food, my meals! I have to take this part of the plan seriously. If I knew what I was planning to eat for lunch, I wouldn't be tempted by certain foods in the fridge. If I have my salad greens clean and my vegetables cut, it would be easy to grab them and go.<br />
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The lesson to learn is -- make the planning a priority! It will help me get where I want to go and move me forward!Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5344679904289431581.post-1160138602629828222010-08-10T06:00:00.000-05:002010-08-10T06:00:00.436-05:00So even though I haven't been posting or commenting, I've still been reading the blogs. And on many of the blogs I read, the writers are struggling with daily decisions. Their weight fluctuates. They aren't perfect. But they are continuing to keep trying, keep doing the work, continuing to make their life happen. It's truly inspiring.<br />
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So with all of my blog reading, and with all of the talk in the media about the "obesity epidemic," I am STRUCK by how truly challenging this losing weight thing really is. <br />
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Now I know that people like to read positive thoughts and energy -- I get that! But I am STRUCK by how challenging this losing weight thing really is. Even the people who have tackled their weight loss demons and are winning (all you great bloggers out there) -- they still struggle.<br />
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It's a battle. It's a struggle. It's a challenge. It's hard. You have to keep going. Keep fighting. Keep trying again. Keep regrouping. Keep picking up the pieces. Keep fighting the fight. I know I'm not supposed to say it, but it's the damn truth!<br />
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And it doesn't matter it you have 10 or 50 or 200 pounds to lose--or even if you are maintaining. We are all trying to do the job. Yes, some of you might have a good momentum going. And others are still working at it. But we are all trying to do the job.<br />
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I believe that we all have our own challenges to face. I don't have other problems, but I do have a problem with eating too much--and it's taken over my life for way to long. But I believe I've been given this challenge for a reason. I believe that I'm supposed to conquer it! I am supposed to figure this thing out! It's not supposed to be easy! Nothing important is ever easy! But I'm going to do it! And the plan is--sooner rather than later.<br />
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And as I tackle this beast of my problem, there are going to lots of questions and answers, highs, and lows, discovery and reflection. It's going to be damn hard--I just want to say it! But I can do it!<br />
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Losing the weight is my challenge, it's my battle. And I have my armor on--ready to fight! <br />
--Jenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16180806295824186050noreply@blogger.com1