I really want to keep Jen to Lose positive and encouraging, because I think that will help me the most. At the same time, if I am being honest, and Jen to Lose is my place to do so, I'm going to talk about my insecurities. I'm going to have down days, and I will share about them. I'm positive that I am going to have TONS of amazing things to share that will just light up Jen to Lose! I'm certain! So before I move on to my next post where I talk about this GREAT week, I have one more thing that I have been struggling with:
(Whew! What a long introduction!) As I write and try to describe what I am doing here, I am struggling to find the right language that REALLY explains what I am doing.
I keep using words like
getting healthy, changing my life, my action plan, living my best life, making a change for the better, moving my body more, better eating, better living.
There are tons more that I just can't think of right now. BUT THESE WORDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY! Now these words really are actually pretty good--nothing really wrong with them. But I feel like I have said them all before. I feel like I am being too nice to myself when I am using them. I feel like I might be avoiding the read deal when I say them. I feel like they are BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!
Perhaps these words are part of the denial. Perhaps I am just trying to avoid being so blunt as to say -- "I have made myself really fat and I want to get rid of my fat ass!" (BTW, I just read an intersting post by Mrs. Fat Ass about her name, which made me think a lot). I think I try to avoid the negative labels because I don't think they really encourage me.
But let's face the facts. I am fat! I can avoid the word all I want but it's true! The O word--another thing that scares me. Yes I am obese--probably pretty close if not in the morbidly obese category. It's reality! And there is nothing wrong with that! (Well yes there is, that's why I'm here). But face it Jen! There is a lot of good that can come when you just state the truth. Don't just sugar coat it with all of the nice, pretty words. Now move forward!
Yes you are fat right now! You know that. And you are making a change. You are moving forward towards your goals (what are those goals again?) Move away from the fat (LOL). Do the work now, one itty bitty moment at time, to change your life, to lose the fat, to lose the weight. You know, you are NOT going to be fat forever, because you are making the decision to change your life. And words might not really explain it. But you are doing the work! And that's all that matters.
Oh, you have so much to gain. Right now, in the present, and in your future. I'm excited to keep going on the journey.
(BTW, it feels pretty damn good to write this post--I needed it!)