They really are hard! I finally posted some pictures in my JentoLose Pict link, and they are just a strong reminder of reality. I hate having my picture taken as so many people do in my situation. I hide behind my children, try to position my head just so, but nothing works. The picture doesn't lie.As I look at the pictures, I am struck by the fact that I have been living in denial for so long! ( I'm also struck by the fact that I really need a new hair cut, but that's another story.)
I went on a search and also found two pictures from earlier times in my life when I was in a really good place--times when I felt good and when I was taking care of my body. These pictures encourage me. I want to feel like I felt then. I want to smile and move like I did then. I want those pictures to be my reality.
I'm saddened by the fact that I currently don't want to have my picture taken with my children because I want to hide the fat, the double chin. And, as a result, there are not a lot of pictures with me and them. I'm always the one taking the pictures.
At the same time, the pictures catch a glimpse of reality. Yes I don't like what I see. But I'm going to start using the pictures to make the change and see the change. I'm moving forward with the end in mind. I'm moving forward with tomorrow in mind.
And from now on, I want to be in the pictures! I want to be in all of my family pictures. I am no longer going to let my size or shape or face shape dictate my memories.
So Jen, move forward, and use the pictures to work toward your goal. You might not like what you see right now, but you will see the change -- not only in the size of your body, but in the sparkle in your eye, in the beauty of your smile. If that's now an awesome thing to look forward to, I don't know what is.
Any one else out there changing the way they use or look at their photos? I'd love to hear what you have to say about making the photos work for you.
You are soooo not alone in this. I blogged about it myself... how I hate myself in photos and only put the flattering ones in our albums and try tricks to feel like I look thinner. Sigh. You can read more about it if you are interested in an empathetic view: http://waistingtime.wordpress.com/2009/12/31/picture-imperfect/
ReplyDeleteNow that my children are teenagers I appreciate all of the photos I have of myself with my children when they were small. Even though it is hard for you, your children will treasure those photographs in later years.
ReplyDeleteOh, I completely know how you feel about the photos, when I was heavier, all the pics are of my husband with the kids. I keep a picture of myself at my ideal weight on my fridge, as a constant reminder of where I want to be.
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