For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin — real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. ~ Alfred D. Souza
So? What do you think Jen about that last post--I Will Never Be Ready?
I'm finally re-reading my last post at close to 11 pm tonight, and I'm not sure what to say. I've thought a lot about it.
My words are true. I am not ready to start losing weight. I am not ready to start. I will never be ready to start.
Life is messy and crazy and exhausting and impossible and hard and busy. I will never get all of my stuff done. It's like doing laundry--once you get it all done, you just keep making dirty clothes, and you just have to do it again. The business of my life is never going to be put together in this little box of perfection and order that I want--that my mind wants.
And my mind has to get over it. My mind has to adjust. My mind has to embrace that my life will always have bumps and roadblocks and messy crap! My life is messy, but it's not impossible.
I love the above quote above! It's telling me there is no waiting, no planning, no getting ready. Everything just -- IS. All of this stuff that I'm trying to do to prepare myself to make the right choices and get into the right state of mind--I'm actually already there. This is my life! This is it Jen. There's no waiting or getting ready or moving forward about it.
This is my life. And if I continue in the "I'm getting ready" mode, I'm going to one day realize that --"Oh! That was my life back there, and it's passed me by." Wasting time! (Hey--shout out to-- Waisting Time--what a so appropriate title!)
So what does this all mean Jen? Now that you know that you are in it? You can continue to delay in the excuse of "getting ready." Or what?
You can act. choose. decide. live. Live. LIVE. Live. Live.
What does that mean Jen? How are you going to act? Choose? Decide? Live? All of these obstacles--this deciding--it's your life! Don't you want to move forward. To act on what you say you want. To set a goal and work toward it. To say with the deepest core of your being -- that this is what you want life to be-- and then make the choices that support that life.
What are you doing Jen? What are you waiting for?
So here's the deal. I'm going to admit this to y'all right now. This is how my mind works in this deal:
Finally went grocery shopping today. Bought tons of great, healthy food. Also bought a half gallon of ice cream -- one last treat, you know--cost me $2.50 (I hate to throw out money. Wasting money. Wasting time. Wasting life). Here are some scenerios:
A. I could go upstairs and throw the ice cream in the trash right now. You can't pull melted ice cream out of the trash in the morning.
B. I could wake up tomorrow morning and say -- Nope. Too bad. Just not ready to start. I've got ice cream in the fridge. Once it's gone, oh yeah, then I'll be ready to --REALLY start.
C. I could wake up tomorrow morning and decide -- I'm living my life right this moment. I'm not starting. I'm not ready. I am in my life. I am choosing. acting. living. And I am making the change. I am strong. I am deciding. The ice cream goes in the garbage and I live to my goals.
I live to my goals.
I'm routing for C. I just went back and reread Diane's post that started this all for me, along with many comments. One talked about the power of visualization. As I hit the hay tonight, I'm going to visualize myself doing C. C. C. I'm excited. I'm going to bed.